Wedding Bigotry

22 Mar

Dear LetterBalm: My partner and I are getting married in a few weeks. Unlike my family, his parents have never been supportive of us. They’ve spread particularly vicious lies and have picked fights with other members of his extended family who are close to us. They’ve gone so far as to threaten my partner’s adult siblings with disinheritance because they associate with gays. Should we invite the parents to the wedding, even if we know they won’t come or will cause trouble if they do?

–In the Middle

Ms. L.B. is appalled at the behavior of your partner’s parents. It’s doubtful that inviting them to your wedding will inspire family harmony, but if you and your partner feel it’s worth a shot, have him handwrite a note and mail it to them. Two weeks should be sufficient notice – they probably know about the wedding and are already working their mischief to put the family in an uproar. Your partner will be the bigger person by giving them more than they deserve. On the chance that the parents cause a scene if they do show up, hire ununiformed security to efficiently escort them out of the festivities and into their car and watch them drive off the premises. Keep the letter simple and direct:

Dear Mom and Dad,

As you know, Liam and I are to be married. The ceremony will be on Saturday, April 6 at 2 o’clock at the Old Mill on Henderson Road, and there will be a reception afterward. If you would like to attend and wish us well, you will be welcomed.

As ever,


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