Married to the Mob

29 Jul

Letterbalm Big Group of HandsDear LetterBalm: My husband and I got married six months ago. We’re very happy, but there is one thing that has me worried. My husband and I met through an online dating site. Some of our friends know, but nobody in my family does. My family is traditional – my parents had to defend my marriage to relatives because it wasn’t arranged. (I told them he and I met through mutual friends.) How do I respond when everybody wants to know more details of how we met? My relatives are opinionated and gossipy, and I don’t want to cause a family meltdown. Help!


Six months after you’re married and the relatives are still parsing every aspect of your meeting and courtship? They’re a persnickety bunch. Too bad there isn’t another wedding in the near future to distract them. Ms. L.B. usually advocates telling the truth, but this situation is a sticky one. These days, so many couples get together online that it no longer raises any eyebrows – except those of your family. Don’t lie outright, but don’t encourage them. Keep to a version of this script as often as necessary:

Auntie, I think it’s so touching that you want to know everything about Raj and me and our marriage. You’re a dear. But you already know how we got together – and, even you admit that Raj is a wonderful man and we’re well suited to each other and to our families. So, I think we should concentrate on that. I’m lucky to have such a good husband and such a good, supportive family. You know I always appreciate your good wishes and your concern.


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