Stop Stalking!

14 Aug

Letterbalm Female StalkerDear LetterBalm: I was seeing a guy I grew up with. We hadn’t seen each other for 15 years, and we reconnected at a mutual friend’s wedding eight months ago. I thought things were going well until two months ago, when he began to withdraw. Dates and sex became less frequent. He said he needed time, and he wouldn’t answer his phone. I asked him if he wanted me to go away. He said no. But I didn’t believe him, so I followed him and found he was seeing his old girlfriend. I parked at his apartment building and saw her leave at dawn several mornings. I went crazy because I felt he was lying to me, so I grilled him. He freaked out, said I was “stalking” him and broke it off with me. I called him today and he said he missed me but needed his space. I really love him. What can I say to get him back?

–Missing Him

You weren’t merely “stalking.” You were in full-blown stalking mode, and the guy reacted fearfully and normally. Nobody likes being stalked, and there is nothing you can do to regain your relationship with this man. Yes, he dropped you and didn’t have the courage to tell you. He’s a weasel. But parking outside your beloved’s apartment for several nights makes you a stalker. It’s obvious he’s moved on, even if it’s only to his ex-girlfriend. He’s saying he misses you because he’s terrified you’ll go postal. Ms. L.B. strongly advises you stop this obsessive behavior because it won’t end well. You don’t need LetterBalm to tell you how to reach out to him. Separate yourself from him – remove his information from your Facebook page, e-disconnect with him, don’t take his calls, delete photos of him from your phone. Reboot yourself as a normal woman who wants a relationship and apply yourself in that direction, with new activities and renewed interests. The last thing you want is to develop a reputation as a stalker and obsessive girlfriend.

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