Halloween Hijinks

25 Oct

Letterbalm Rotten PumpkinDear LetterBalm: Ugh! Halloween  is coming and I dread it. Not because of the cool scary stuff but because I hate it. I’m the middle kid in my family, too old for trick or treating and too young to hang out with my friends and party like my older brother does. So, I get to stay home and hand out candy at the door to screaming kids in stupid costumes. What can I say to my parents to get me out of this?

–Everybody’s Dressed Like Batman

Aw, c’mon. Who doesn’t like the sight of a six-year-old Princess Tiana and her baby brother dressed as a devil? Or, a troupe of vaguely malevolent 15-year-old boys who throw on a mask and honk “Trick or Treat” in changing voices? So, you’ve got candy duty for Halloween. Can’t you and your best friend put on costumes and make-up – the scarier the better – and shock the bejesus out of trick-or-treaters when you open the door? Ms. L.B. has run out of ideas. Without whining or pouting, take your parents aside before the holiday and see if you can invite a couple of friends over to handle door duty with you. Then, when the festivities die down, have pizza and leftover candy (always part of a healthy diet). And, remind your parents that handing out candy isn’t for always: It’s only fair that your younger sibling will have to do it when it’s his or her turn:

Mom and Dad, I’m almost too old to be handing out trick or treat candy this year. Next year, it will be Beth’s turn. Can we make a compromise? Can I ask Rick and Tony to come over to help me on Halloween night? We can have some laughs at the costumes, and afterward we can order pizza for everybody here. Is this O.K. with you? 


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