Truth Telling

31 Dec

Dear LetterBalm: My older sister has asked me to keep some big secrets. She is seeing a man not her husband, and she thinks she is pregnant by him. She told me that my brother-in-law has voiced some suspicions the child isn’t his. He knows she’s been spending a lot of time with the man, who is also her co-worker. But it’s their first child, and he’s excited about being a father. He’s a good guy who adores her and treats her well. She confessed to me that she doesn’t love him as much as he loves her and that she plans to leave him as soon as the baby is born. I’m the only one who knows all this. But my brother-in-law knows his wife and I are close and has approached me several times to try to pump me for information. I’m torn and sad. I need help to sort this mess out.

–Anxious Sister

You’ve been unfairly thrust into a mammoth drama. It’s your sister who must sort out the mess she’s made. And, the situation is complicated by a baby on the way and a mother-to-be who wants out of her marriage. You cannot be asked to keep these secrets any longer. Ms. L.B. recommends you sit her down privately and tell her this:

Eva, we have to talk. I love you very much, you know that. But you’ve put me in the middle of your predicament, and you’ve asked me to keep secrets I want no part of. Sweetie, you have so many conflicting things going on now – not to mention your pregnancy – that you can’t think straight. What should be a happy time for you and Mel is becoming hell on earth. You must talk to a professional right away to help sort things out in your mind. Should you leave your marriage? Is the child Mel’s or not? What is the right thing to do? And, you know how much Mel adores you. Eva, this is what you need to know: I won’t divulge information, but if Mel asks me a direct question, I will tell the truth. Now, let’s put you in touch with a good family therapist. You need to resolve this mess fast.

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