The Womanizer

5 Feb

Letterbalm WomanizerDear LetterBalm: Our daughter is 23 and out in the world on her own. She was lucky to get a serious job right after graduation. Her chosen career is mainly male-dominated, and most of her co-workers are men. But we weren’t worried because she has lots of men and women friends and many interests. But over the past few months, she’s become involved with an older man. She’s talked a lot about him but has not introduced him to us. Two of her friends have reached out to us with some concern. It seems that he’s unreliable, has gone through a string of women, charming them and leaving them. He strikes her friends as a player, and our daughter won’t listen to them. She’s relatively inexperienced – only one or two dating relationships. We’re afraid he’s a womanizer who’s taking advantage of her. What can we say to her to snap her out of this?

–Older and Wiser

Ms. L.B. remembers when she first heard the word “boulevardier” (not the cocktail). It was used to describe Philippe Junot, the older, worldly man who married Princess Caroline of Monaco in 1978. How French and how descriptive: a suave guy who strolls the elegant streets in search of opportunistic liaisons. Your daughter is in love – and lust, even though you don’t want to consider that. She’s beyond listening. Yes, it is unfortunate that she hasn’t introduced her flame to you. And, flame is appropriate here, because her liaison will certainly burn out; she’ll need her friends and you to help her recover. As long as her lover isn’t violent or bilking her of her money, the best you can do is let her know you love her and will always be there for her. E-mail her or send a note thusly:

Elaine –

You’ve been so busy with your new life, that we haven’t had a chance to see you and talk recently. We just want you to know that we’re proud of you – we don’t say it enough – and we always wish you happiness. We’ll support you in whatever you do in life, and we’ll be there to listen. Parents are supposed to do this, but we’re luckier than most because you’re a great person as well as a great daughter.

Love always,


One Response to “The Womanizer”

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