Cross Dressing

28 May

Letterbalm Underwear DrawerDear LetterBalm: My husband and I have been married only a few months, and he now tells me he wants to wear women’s clothes. He says he wants to start wearing things like skirts, dresses, heels and my makeup when we’re alone at home – and, silky nightgowns when we go to bed and make love. He thinks he may want to wear these things in public, too. He showed me a stash of lingerie and said he’s been wearing women’s panties sometimes under his briefs. I’m devastated. I know that most crossdressers aren’t gay, but the idea of my husband dressed up in women’s clothes and my having sex with him wearing a nightgown, makes me cringe. I’m angry because I think he should have told me about this before we were married. He says he’s been crossdressing in private for years and that he was afraid I’d leave him if he told me. What do I tell him?

–Not With My Bra, You Don’t

Much study has been done on crossdressing, including the fact that crossdressers – overwhelmingly, straight men who like to dress in women’s clothing – run the gamut from men who simply like the feel of women’s lingerie on their skin to men who want to dress completely as women and move in society as such. A lot of crossdressers are perfectly happy with their predilection and don’t feel the need for therapy. Ms. L.B. says that all this doesn’t negate the fact that, clearly, your husband omitted some vital information before he married you, which was terribly unfair. No wonder his revelation comes as a shock. He was worried you’d have second thoughts about marrying him if he told you – which says he wasn’t entirely comfortable keeping such an important aspect of himself from his intended. Get yourself into therapy right away and sort things out, including that his crossdressing may be a dealbreaker for you. Only you can decide what this means for your future with this man. Keep all this to yourself – it’s a private matter. In the meantime, you need to talk with your husband:

George, you really laid a huge revelation on me, and I apologize if I reacted strongly. But it is such a shock. You said you didn’t tell me because you were afraid I’d leave you, which says that you realize your crossdressing is a big issue. You can appreciate that I’m upset because you kept something so important from me and didn’t give me a chance to know everything about you. I’m going to see a therapist who can help me. I love you, and I’m trying hard to understand you. But I’m confused and angry and sad all at once, and I need time to sort this all out. I’m not going to talk about this with anybody but the therapist – you and I need to deal with this ourselves and see what the future holds for us.

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2 Responses to “Cross Dressing”

  1. removing oil stains from driveway 07/14/2014 at 1:29 am #

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    • Ms. L.B. 08/04/2014 at 3:33 pm #

      Thank you for your kind words. I try to address a wide gamut of issues, some of which leave us speechless.

      And, I got a big chuckle out of your screen name!

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