Summer Love?

24 Jun

Dear LetterBalm: Right after Easter, I started seeing a guy who’s going to graduate school in the fall. Early on, before we had sex, he told me he wouldn’t have any time for a girlfriend after he started his graduate work. Some of my friends who know both of us say that he may well change his mind. I don’t know if I should end this relationship now or continue hanging out with him for the summer (we get along great, and he’s a nice guy) to see what will happen. I don’t want to develop feelings for him and then get hurt. Should I talk with him?

–Hanging Out or Hanging On

Ms. L.B. isn’t sure a sit-down is appropriate at this point. If you’re having a good time with him and if he treats you well, why not enjoy your time together and stop worrying about getting hurt? (Keep in mind that romantic breakups always hurt somebody; it’s not the end of the world.) Meanwhile, get to know him but don’t put too much into the relationship emotionally until you have a better idea of where it might be heading. Let it evolve naturally; if you and he are meant for each other, it will happen. And, keep yourself engaged with fitness, education, work, interests and family and friends. When the end of summer rolls around, and if it looks like your relationship is ending, you might say this to him, short and sweet:

Neal, you’re a great guy. We’ve had a terrific time this summer – thanks for that. I wish you all the best in graduate school. We do get along well together, and if you want us to see each other in the future, I’d really like that.

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