Grill Master

28 Jul

Letterbalm GrillDear LetterBalm: I have a friend I’ve known for years who’s a tyrant about food. She insists on lengthy conversations with waiters, butchers and greengrocers, and she’s a stickler – to the point of annoying us all – about her healthy food habits and our unhealthy ones. Well, she’s invited to a big barbecue we’re throwing for our son who’s going into the Army next month. Her latest thing is she doesn’t eat red meat, and she’s told my husband she wants him to clean the grill thoroughly after he grills meat and before he cooks any of her (special) salmon and our vegetable kabobs she feels she can eat. We’ve got 50 people coming, and there’s no way he can do this. I need to stop this, but she’s very sensitive and will probably get angry.

–Griller’s Wife

So your friend gets huffy and wanders your backyard averting her eyes from the grilled burgers, steak, sausages, chicken, veggies … oh, yum. Ms. L.B. wants an invite. Ordinarily, it is praiseworthy that your fastidious friend isn’t eating red meat. (And such a correct food maven as she is should be eating only wild salmon because studies have shown that farmed salmon isn’t as beneficial as it’s cracked up to be.) Now, you act as sweet as pie – Wait. Will there be pie? – and tell her this:

Martha dear, we certainly are aware of your food concerns, but there is no way Norm can clean the grill for you. If you want, he can grill your salmon and a vegetable kabob first. But there will be other foods on the grill at the same time, and he’ll be using the same grill tongs and implements for everything. Also, I’m afraid I’m going to be too busy with the guests and preparation to cook your salmon in the kitchen. I hope this won’t be a problem for you. It would be a shame if you stayed away. We so want you to be there with us as we show support for Denny and the new chapter in his life.  

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