Reunification

4 Aug

Letterbalm Old School ReunionDear LetterBalm: Twenty years ago, the most popular girl in school was stuck-up and never hung out or talked to me and my friends for the four years we were in the same high school. A couple of years ago, she and I ran into each other – I was surprised she even remembered me. She was gracious and kind and initiated a real friendship, made easier because we have a lot in common and we work in related fields. We also get together socially with our husbands. At this point we regard each other as good friends. Well, our 20th reunion is in two months, and I know my ex-classmates won’t know what to make of our friendship. I feel I must say something to her, but what?

–Newfound Friend

You may be making too much of this. Maybe your friend is mortified at her high-school behavior; maybe she’s forgotten her snootiness. Ms. L.B. believes there’s an easy way to find out if your friend still has snobbish tendencies. You’ve had two years to integrate her into your circle – which may include friends from high school – and if she’s continued to be gracious, problem solved. If you haven’t made introductions, get started. You like her and want others to know her, right? You don’t owe anyone an explanation at the reunion; if anyone asks, just say she’s different now. If you still feel you must say something to her, say this in passing and kindly:

Dora, do you remember in high school you ignored me? [Give her an opportunity to respond.] At the time, it hurt me, but it’s nothing now. I’m glad we’ve become such good friends. Your friendship means a lot to me, and I’m glad we’ve rediscovered each other.

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