Flattery

27 May

Letterbalm Keira KnightleyDear LetterBalm: All my life, I’ve been flat-chested. My breasts look like two quilt squares, even though the rest of my body is O.K. I’m currently dating a man whose previous girlfriend had ample breasts. I compare myself to her in my head all the time. When we go out, I think he’s looking at other women with great bodies. Lately, I don’t even want to take off my bra when we have sex, which makes him mad. I’m afraid my boyfriend will break up with me because of my small breasts, but he says I’m perfect the way I am. I really love him. Should I have breast enlargement surgery?

–Lentil Incidentals

You seem to have focused all your lack of self-confidence on your breasts. But even you admit that the rest of you is acceptable. Ms. L.B. wants you to bear in mind that some of the most beautiful, talented and desirable women in movies and theater have chests flatter than pancakes. How about Keira Knightley (pictured), Kate Moss, Sienna Miller, Cameron Diaz, Debra Messing, Kristen Stewart and Natalie Portman? They don’t obsess about their attributes, and they attract some of the sexiest dudes on the planet. From what you say, your boyfriend finds you attractive; a lot of men don’t fixate on bosoms and, in fact, like smaller breasts. And, remember that many women would kill for a slim, pretty figure. Consider a few sessions with a cognitive behavior therapist to change your own attitude. You certainly don’t want your anatomy to get in the way of your true love. At some point when you’re feeling better about yourself, you might seductively take off your bra and tell your boyfriend this, keeping it simple and not bringing up the subject again:

Lester, I’ve been such a goof about my chest and I’m sorry for obsessing about it. You’ve always been nothing but devoted to me, and it’s clear you really love my body. We’re crazy about each other, and we love each other just the way we are. I’m lucky to have you, sweetie.

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